The Sleeve

The Sleeve

Well ladies, the good news with the sleeve is that the designers certainly have given us options. Albeit, they are some of the most ridiculous and annoying options I’ve ever encountered, BUT they are options all the same.  

We have the sleeveless, the one sleeve, the short sleeve, and the long sleeve… 

Sleeveless (not really a "sleeve" option, but let us explore this anyway): we have tube tops also known as hooker tops, spaghetti straps, halter tops (again not really sleeves and again mostly appropriate for hookers or the few women who happened to be blessed with perfectly perky breasts and toned arms, i.e. not me and not you).  The additional sleeveless options, that a few more of us may actually be able to partake of (because they allow for bras, typically), are the tank tops with regular straps, racer backs (of course how comfortable are those really?) and then the ever so innovative and completely nonfunctional tank tops with the built in bra (puh like those work).

Note the "hoochie mamma duck face" I made to go with my hooker top and painful-ass hooker shoes! 

We now move on to short sleeves, which you would think should be fairly self-explanatory but of course we are talking about women’s clothing here; nothing is self-explanatory. Our options include the cap sleeve (also known as the wrinkled under your armpit sleeve), the flutter sleeve which just looks stupid in any sort of wind or breeze (or any sort of movement what so ever!).  There’s also the "nice" tight fitting sleeve (long, short, or whatever), which prevents you from lifting your arms, or the loose fitting sleeve which consequently also prevents you from lifting your arms for fear of embarrassment.

 The Flutter Sleeve...Obviously this is simulated wind, but seriously can you imagine what I look like when I'm outside in windy weather? It's totally ridiculous!  

Moving on to the ¾ sleeve, which sits just below your elbow, and should be perfect for the not-too-cold-not-too-hot weather, except you can’t really bend your arm in these sleeves either.  God forbid there’s a button, ribbon or some other ornamental thing hanging off the sleeve, because you pretty much spend the day slamming your elbow on said ornamental "thing" for ten to twelve hours! And, let’s be honest, these sleeves really weren’t all that perfect for the not-too-hot-not-too-cold days.  I would rather wear a short sleeve shirt with a jacket or a long sleeve shirt, pushing the arms up if I get hot, because I promise you that wearing a jacket or coat with these "stylish" ¾ sleeve shirts is infuriating!  You will end up spending your entire day shoving one hand up your sleeve and then having to pull down the arm of your shirt that is now wrinkled and jammed up around your bicep only to concede that you will never fully get things straightened out.  Geesh why do things have to be so complicated?

 

 
The ½ sleeve, which sits just above your elbow, isn’t that uncomfortable but frankly only looks attractive on stick figures because designers usually make these sleeve types super tight, and I personally don’t like walking around with sausage links hanging off my body all day.

The full length sleeve is tricky for women who are petite because typically, the sleeves are made for the amazon woman.  Thus petite ladies usually end up having to roll or fold their sleeves up, looking like farmers in the office. Although they may save money in the winter because they probably never need to buy mittens as they would only need to unroll their sleeves, it isn't a very classy look.