So today I put on a brand new shirt, which was a $50.00 splurge! It had 5 buttons up to the top half and was fairly loose fitting, I loved it! I was all set to go and took one last look in the mirror and decided I would add a necklace (I was feeling spunky). Of course, as I lifted my arms to put the necklace on, my shirt tightened around my chest and guess what happened? That's right; the buttons spread apart and two holes appeared giving everyone a free Peep Show to my boobs. Sometimes, I wonder if designer's have cooked up some sort of conspiracy because every outfit I try to put together seem to have some sort of malfunction in the boob area! And, I don't know about you, but I like to keep my girls in check (i.e. in my shirt and not on display), but apparently that's not fashionable.
Anyway back to this morning; being always prepared for the inevitable wardrobe malfunction, I take my newly purchased shirt off and walk back into the bedroom where my husband looks at me as I lay the shirt on the bed, grab two little pins in hand and roll my eyes. He says "Friggen girl clothes!" How about that ladies; he has been paying attention and I'm super proud! I just had to brag a little. So I take my pins and start to work like a surgeon trying to secure the first pin directly in the middle of the fabric between the button holes while not letting the pin stick through the outer layer of fabric so that it won't show on the outside. AHA, got it! Now, I have to do the next one down aaaaaand done. Okay all set. Oops, not yet, forget to say the prayer...
"Dear Lord, Please don't let my seat belt pop open one of these pins while I'm driving and poke me in the boob. Please don't let the pins get caught in or on my bra while I'm in that meeting this afternoon. And Lord, since the only pins I had left were rusty and old pins, please, please, please, don't let me forget to take them out of my fifty dollar shirt before I wash it. I don't want to ruin my shirt. AMEN!"
"Dear Lord, Please don't let my seat belt pop open one of these pins while I'm driving and poke me in the boob. Please don't let the pins get caught in or on my bra while I'm in that meeting this afternoon. And Lord, since the only pins I had left were rusty and old pins, please, please, please, don't let me forget to take them out of my fifty dollar shirt before I wash it. I don't want to ruin my shirt. AMEN!"
Okay, ready!
"Bye honey have a good day"
"You too and good luck with that shirt"
My buttons are always popping open. I had to use a paper clip one day to keep my shirt closed because I didn't have a pin. haha
ReplyDeleteShirts with buttons and I don't get along. I love them and I think they're cute, but if you are anything more than flat chested, the pressure that builds up behind those buttons is enough to take out someone's eye when the stitches give way.
ReplyDeleteAlso, buttoned shirts are never made to fit the rest of you. If you get a button-down shirt that fits your bust and shoulders, it hangs down like a smock and doesn't show that you have a waist.
Been there done that....plus if you are petite and happen to have a bust, forget it altogether as stated by Olivia...to fit your bust, the rest of the shirt looks like it was made for an amazon...sleeves down to your knees, shoulders down to your elbows and the length becomes a skirt rather than a shirt.
ReplyDeleteLove this blog! I was hysterically laughing at the prayer..so true. Please keep going with your blog, reading it makes me smile and not take the world so seriously!
ReplyDeleteFun blog! I've lost so many buttons from my shirts, coats and jackets over the years that I have a collection so one day I can create that mosaic in homage to them all! As far as the girls go - if you got 'em, flaunt 'em is my motto. But alas, the workplace is not appropriate for them to be out and about so I have to agree with you.
ReplyDeleteThat was so funny,Melissa! hate,hate,hate the buttons popping open! ever notice that they are usually too small for the holes,too? grrr....
ReplyDeleteI always have to pin my shirts closed. I once flashed my in-laws at a funeral because my top button simply popped open!
ReplyDelete