Buttons or should I say "Peep Show"

So today I put on a brand new shirt, which was a $50.00 splurge! It had 5 buttons up to the top half and was fairly loose fitting, I loved it! I was all set to go and took one last look in the mirror and decided I would add a necklace (I was feeling spunky). Of course, as I lifted my arms to put the necklace on, my shirt tightened around my chest and guess what happened? That's right; the buttons spread apart and two holes appeared giving everyone a free Peep Show to my boobs. Sometimes, I wonder if designer's have cooked up some sort of conspiracy because every outfit I try to put together seem to have some sort of malfunction in the boob area! And, I don't know about you, but I like to keep my girls in check (i.e. in my shirt and not on display), but apparently that's not fashionable.

Anyway back to this morning; being always prepared for the inevitable wardrobe malfunction, I take my newly purchased shirt off and walk back into the bedroom where my husband looks at me as I lay the shirt on the bed, grab two little pins in hand and roll my eyes. He says "Friggen girl clothes!" How about that ladies; he has been paying attention and I'm super proud!  I just had to brag a little. So I take my pins and start to work like a surgeon trying to secure the first pin directly in the middle of the fabric between the button holes while not letting the pin stick through the outer layer of fabric so that it won't show on the outside.  AHA, got it! Now, I have to do the next one down aaaaaand done. Okay all set. Oops, not yet, forget to say the prayer...

"Dear Lord, Please don't let my seat belt pop open one of these pins while I'm driving and poke me in the boob.  Please don't let the pins get caught in or on my bra while I'm in that meeting this afternoon.  And Lord, since the only pins I had left were rusty and old pins, please, please, please, don't let me forget to take them out of my fifty dollar shirt before I wash it.  I don't want to ruin my shirt.  AMEN!" 

Okay, ready!  

"Bye honey have a good day"  

"You too and good luck with that shirt" 

 

Lions and Tigers and Shoes! Oh My!

I am ashamed to say that I own over forty pairs of shoes (heels, sandals, flats, boots and my personal favorite's FLIP FLOPS)! Yet everyday, unless I absolutely have to put on the dreaded heels, I wear the same old pair of flip flops (or closed toe flats if it's cold, and when I say cold I mean snow).  Otherwise, it's flip flops everyday, all day! And you know what? I'm not the only one; check out the pictures below highlighting the footwear of the ladies in my office.

 Here's one of our female attorneys (I will note that she's already changed out of her suit for the day; hhhmmm...was it because it was uncomfortable?).  This attorney is wearing her "everyday" black sneakers while she holds her heels, which she made a point to tell me she never wears until she is actually in the court room!  

 
An up close picture of the black sneaks; not that bad if you ask me. Wish we could get away with wearing them everyday. 

  Then we have my boss...sporting what you ask?  Flip flops! 

Now don't think that just because my boss wears flip flops, that we work in a super casual office; we don't. It's just that when we women don't have a meeting or someone coming into the office we all slip off those painful blister-makers that designers call shoes and don our flippie's or better yet our slippers. :-)



Here's what you'll find under my desk; my emergency flats (in case someone important shows up at the office), a pair of slippers and two pairs of flip flops (one emergency pair and the pair that I wore today). That's right I was bare foot in my office (again today)! Jealous?

Underneath two of our case managers' desks: slippers and slippers!

In the offices of two attorneys' we also find sneakers! These two women are in court wearing their heels but when they're back in the office, it's comfy sneaks o'clock!

A supervisor's desk; more slippers, 2 pairs of flats, heels and sandals.   Clearly, she is ready for any occasion!

And, just for fun (and clearly to prove my point) a picture of one of our male attorneys; still wearing is shoes, in his dress clothes, even after court with no emergency shoes or slippers under his desk.

To be fair I asked him if he ever felt like taking off his shoes or changing into casual clothes after court; and he said "no my shoes aren't as uncomfortable as yours and my clothes don't bother me."

SPANX This!

Why is it that women are expected to wear all things uncomfortable for the sake of fashion and/or to simply to be accepted by society?  A prime example: Spanx?!  Other offensive “fashionable” items we are expected to wear for one reason or another include nylons, heels (or for that matter any “fashionable” shoe made for a woman) and thong underwear (because teenagers can walk around with their boxers hanging out all day long but Heaven forbid a women’s panty line shows through her pants).  And before you get started with the comments, I know it’s completely not acceptable for the kids to be walking around with their pants around their knees, but as much as people complain about it, nobody has marketed an item that entails said teens shoving a string up their ass all day long to correct the unsightly problem!

And yes, I also know that there are plenty of women who prefer to wear thongs and have said that they’ve gotten used to wearing them along with their heels, nylons and girdles.  However, I still maintain that there’s a huge difference between “getting used” to these items, and actually being comfortable while wearing them in the first place.

 __________________

While looking for a picture of the dreaded Spanx Girdle I found this horrifying picture. Spanx for pregnant women!  Seriously?  I thought pregnant women were supposed to be fat, but I decided to do a little more research to see if I was missing something (perhaps these garments held the belly up in order to relieve back pain or other discomfort).  Sadly, this was not the case, see a quote from an OBGYN on a different blog below wherein someone asked if it was safe to wear these “garments” while pregnant.  I’ve placed in bold the most offensive part of her response. 

“Yes. There's no reason why wearing a piece of Lycra "shapewear" over your butt, belly, or thighs would harm your baby – regardless of how far along you are.

That said, it might not be the most comfortable choice for your growing body. But if it feels okay to you, go for it. Because your baby is cushioned by a sac of fluid, real harm would come from something like a blunt-force trauma (a fall or a car accident, for example). A bit of squeezing from an unyielding undergarment may simply result in an uncomfortable day at the office for you – and some reddish ridges on your belly when you take it off.”-Carmit Archibald 

 Source: http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-wear-spanx-during-pregnancy_10337005.bc

 

Honestly, from what I hear about being pregnant, it seems hard enough without having to add any additional discomfort by wearing a squeezing undergarment that may or may not leave you with reddish ridges at the end of the day!

To be fair they do make Spanx for men. I looked into it, and what I found was disturbing. Aside from the picture, which is almost as frightening as someone telling me I would have to wear Spanx, I found this guy’s blog post below. He thinks Spanx should be designed strictly for women. Note that he doesn't appear to give any consideration to the fact that women hate wearing those damn things too. But, again proving my point that women are expected to wear (without complaint) these medieval (if not "mid-evil" as these contraptions come up to your middle section and feel like garments of Satan) torture devices.  His argument, if you don’t want to read what I copied below, is simply that Spanx are meant to shape the body and women are supposed to be shapely, and thus only women should wear Spanx (not men)!

“SPANX for Men - Well I don’t mean to single out ONLY SPANX, I want to go ahead and say ALL SHAPEWEAR for Men just is not the right thing to do.  First of all, it’s designed by a women’s underwear designer, Sara Blakely….that by itself should be enough to keep a man from purchasing the product.  The  company mainly manufactures footless pantyhose and other undergarments for women, particularly “body shaping” undergarments and bodysuit shapewear intended to give the wearer a slim and shapely appearance.  The term “body shaping” and “man” shouldn’t be used in the same sentence, ever.  Working out should be the man’s body shaper.

I have a quick question for my female readers…let’s say you meet a guy, take him home, things start getting hot and heavy, then he undresses to reveal this picture to the left….how do you feel about this “sexy” guy now?”

Source: http://thebrownleeblog.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/

My Comfy Pants...the video