Comfy-Pants O’clock

Saturday and Sunday are my favorite clothing days!  Saturday’s and Sunday’s mean sweat pants, pajama bottoms, yoga pants, and up until recently, gauchos (oh’ thank you fashion Gods for bringing back Gauchos for those few sweet years).  Of course, now that I think about it, I’ll wear comfortable pants pretty much any day where I’m not absolutely required to wear regular pants.  And, by required I mean for work, job interviews, funerals and parties…and that’s it!  In fact, the first thing I do when I come home from these required regular clothing events is to change into my comfortable pants, because it is, of course, by then “comfy-pants o’clock” and I must promptly remove the wretchedly uncomfortable clothing I have been forced to endure all day and free my body into something which I can actually breath and move around in without my ass crack hanging out, or worse dealing with the frontal wedge!

Hmmm…maybe I should give those pajama jeans a try after all :-) 

Women and Shopping

I was talking to my fiancé the other day about my blog and the inspiration behind it.  I know I was talking to a man about clothing; it's my own fault...but, please hear me out anyway.  I started with the article I shared on February 12, 2012, an instance where a writer talks about women's clothing being thin and flimsy; and how we're expected to purchase several shirts to create a "layered" look.  Well, before I could even get my thoughts out, he chimes in with his two cents on the subject.  His explanation was that the designers know how women like to shop so they don't waist the money making durable clothing.  To preserve my relationship, I simply changed the subject but what I really wanted to say is as follows:

Do we really love shopping that much?  Do we really love having to purchase yet another tank top because ours shredded in the wash, or because another t-shirt now has one sleeve with a twisted seem (oh that’s so annoying)!  I know we love shopping for jeans.  We love having to try on boot cut, straight cut, boyfriend cut, wide leg and slim cut in three different sizes and lengths only to realize that all are too long (because we are not supermodel tall) and all are far too damn expensive considering the fact that they won’t fit after we wash and dry them!  

Actually maybe today we’re going to be sensible and just purchase a new top for work.  However, the only reason you need a new top for work is because yours has a hole in the armpit which you didn't notice until your co-worker pointed out to you after your presentation.

Then again, if we’re really lucky we'll get to go shopping for a new bra.  I love bra shopping, especially when the sales associate wants to come into the dressing room to fit me!  Plus, I always walk away feeling satisfied and not taken advantage of at all.  I know I've purchased just the right bra for me; it was designed not pinch my armpit, squeeze my back or chest and certainly won’t give me that just baked “muffin top” look or yank down on my shoulders and back leaving indentations and red marks.  I will pay just $35-$60 or more for a good quality medieval torture device...or rather what I meant to say was a supportive under garment that will make me feel like a strong confident woman!

Yes, honey.  You're right.  I love to shop!  I love to spend hours searching for the perfect pair of ill-fitting jeans that will drag on the floor to go with my crappy tank top and broken bra.

My Short Sleeve Sweater

It's below freezing today.  Obviously, I reached for my sweaters only to be annoyed yet again.

Option one: a turtle-neck (don't ask why I still have this sweater), after I squeezed my head through the neck, I promptly ripped the sweater off because I felt like I was being strangled with a pillow. Apart from that, the last time I washed the sweater it shrunk such that it looked like belly shirt; a long sleeve, turtle-neck sweater, belly shirt!

Option two: a black v-neck sweater.  How can you go wrong with black?  This should work.  Except this sweater was so low cut I needed to wear a tank top underneath to cover the girls.  However, I didn't feel like pulling and tugging at the sweater and tank top all day as each twisted and turned on my body....so I moved on.

My third, and final, choice for the morning was my short sleeve sweater (because that makes sense). The sweater went down to about mid thigh, had cap sleeves and a high enough neck line so that I wouldn't need a tank top, but not so high that I wanted to throw up.  The only problem with my sweater choice was that I was  FREEZING all day!  Sure my butt was warm because I had jeans that the sweater was accentuating that part, however, my arms were frozen such that I ended up wearing my emergency zip up sweatshirt (that I keep on the back of my office chair) all day, which, looked even better with the long sweater hanging out of the bottom enlarging my arse.  

The t-shirt

Okay ladies...how many t-shirts do you have to try on before you can find one that fits across your chest, waist and neck, but doesn’t go down to your knees, or make you look like a friggen linebacker? Five, if you’re lucky, usually ten or fifteen if you don't want to settle for some misshapen, tight, awkward or down to your knees shirt!  Or perhaps you just gave up and decided to wear your husband or boyfriend's shirt and embrace the linebacker look. 

My Inspiration

 My cousin shared this article with me a few months a go and could hardly stop laughing.  She knows I'm always ranting women's clothing and from this little article my blog was born!  

"The Seven Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes"

#7 Material is too thin

#6 Fake pockets or no pockets

#5 Too Cold

#4 Arbitrary Clothing Sizes

#3 There's no such thing as a regular t-shirt

#2  Clothes that need instructions

 #1 There's no such thing as "regular" clothes

by Christina H. 1/17/2012

The full article can be found at the link below.  It's a must read!  

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-baffling-things-about-womens-clothes/